Growing Up
When I was 9 years old, I wished to go to Paris and be a fashion designer, because I thought it was cool. I also wished to be a pianist, because I was so in love with classical music, and I thought I would be looked so genius, elegant, and glamorous on piano. Five years later, I found another form of art; photography. I took pictures using mom's pocket camera, made a blog (which is this blog ofc), and posted them. Unfolding my blog, I fiddled with photoshop, drew the header myself, and changed it every week. I relished the time I spent to snap and draw, so I wanted to be a photographer who designs graphics too. Earlier before entering high school, I learned some chords on my bro's guitar and ended up gaining my devotion to music, till these days. Since then I decided to put musician as one of my dream jobs.
I wished many things, but none of them were going real. Years later, fifteen-sixteen years old version of myself had to decide my future. Playing safe, it was actually easy cause I had persons behind me who would constantly convince me to be a medico.
I studied biology harder, chose a certain medical school, and lost the talents I wished I would have someday, all of sudden. In the very beginning, the truth that I chose to play safe and threw my dreams away embarrass me. Things seemed so easy before the reality slapped right on myself; I failed my first attempt, this was the bad news. But the good one was, I didn't even think about giving up. It took time to accept the situation of gloom that I should let my year go. By that time I realized that I never threw my dreams away, I've made a new right one. I am glad that this one is, for me, worth more than any of my old ones, and I'm still able to live the old ones up as my hobbies. I can say, I am lucky enough, and I hope you (whoever read this) feel that you are lucky too.
I've seen many of my friends are now living their life finely, although those are not the dreams that we talked in yesteryear. Earlier I thought it was on them to blame, they hadn't fought a little bit harder for it. But then the reality slapped me again and now I finally know that life isn't that easy. You'll have lots of conditions beyond your control, and you won't have any choice except to accept it all. Everything will seem so difficult, but fortunately, nothing is impossible. Now what I understand is that no matter how far you're now walking from your dreams away or no matter how shoddy you think your life is, as long as you're now doing your best, you'll always be fine.
I know that my problems are not the biggest and scariest ever, even though losing dreams is one of them. I hope their presence grew me, slowly but surely, up. So at every beginning of the next day, I will be ready for the bigger one.
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