I still remember the first time we met,

on that windy Friday evening,

when everybody looked me down,

and left me alone,

you did know well the rightest time to come.

Heretofore,

you are my favorite first impression,

appeared so bright,

and still the brightest.

I still remember how patient you were,

when my ego was peaking to the top,

by saying yes,

on everything I wished.

I even remember how sweet you were,
when we two sat together modestly
on a starry Saturday night,
enjoying our meals,
with our typical deep conversation
to find the right way
to get closer.

And on a sunny Sunday,
we walked together before the Lord.
I forgot what did I ask from Him,
I should be sad cause it wasn't you.

Those good old times

still neatly arranged

in my head

up to now,

how about you?

Unfortunately,

And by then I realize

that you weren't by my side

anymore.

So the saddest thing about this story is

not when the goodbyes were said,

cause we don't even have any goodbyes.

You didn't even know how bad I want you,

cause this annoying feeling is coming late,

or,

maybe they were actually there,

underneath my ignorance.

He said, as he walked, slowly but surely, away.

"No, i'm sure. i won't"

My pride and arrogance were so high, stood still, let him go, thought that i'd be okay no matter what.

I was fine, and perhaps he knew it. 

Until those skies above me fallen, 

I was fine, too.

"Congratulation!"

"Thank you. But, how about you?"

"You know I'll always be fine, don't worry. It may take time, and I am very good at waiting"

"Are you sure?"

"You know who I am, right? Giving up isn't a choice for me"

One day, the darkness finally came. It's so dark, even the sun were gone.

"No, I won't regret those decisions now"

But,

it's dark,

and cold,

and in the middle of the rain,

in that night,

I wonder,

"Do you even have time to worry about me? Or you're too busy to worry about yourself?"

I saw him, he was busy out there. New people, new friends, new life, new me?

He was good at finding my substitute.

I wished I didn't have any interest,

"I don't even care"

but unfortunately I did.

I pretended to be fine, by then. 

I knew the sun will shine brightly again,

so I waited,

not for him,

for the sun.

"Hey, again"

"Oh, hey! Long time no see"

"Ya, it's been a while since our last conversation. Need any help?"

"Well, yes, I need your help"

At the end of my darkness,

this happened, we met again, and magically everything came up like it used to be.

"Congratulation! You're amazing"

"Thank you, for your compliment, and for your help too"

"We have a long time of not seeing each other"

"I guess it's because you're too busy out there"

"Miss me already? Do I need to meet you up soon?"

"Haha! You don't even change"

"And you're still trying to get me out of the way like you used to be, too"

Our very short conversation, with the sun above us, and I am so glad.

No, not because the short conversation of us that we always had over and over again like a refrain, it's because the sun.

It shined so brightly until i can't see anything,

you too.

"You know it's you, right?"

"No, I don't feel that it's me"

"Yes, it's you"

"..."

Our conversation was my favorite refrain, like the beatles' song earworming me, it won't leave.

"Not gonna give me any answer?"

"I just..."

"Just what?"

"Can't believe you"

"Damn"

No matter how bad the ending would be, I always waited for this.

"Did you think I don't know what's going on this whole time? About you and those people around you?"

"You don't know what are you talking about"

"Yes, i know. I always know"

"You always think that you know, you always think. You think too much"

"So what else I can do? I never hear anything directly from you. I saw things, I saw you, I saw what you did, with them"

"..."

"Tell me"

"..."

It doesn't matter how hard we try,

"Everything.."

"..."

or ask ourselves to understand,

"Please"

"..."

or just to give ourselves explanation,

"If what I see and what I think is right,"

"..."

we're not supposed to spend our next days by holding hands.

"Do I still have to regret my decision in the beginning?"